“You don’t
have a soul.
You are a
soul.
You have
a body.”
C.S. Lewis has been credited for saying that. As it turns
out, he didn’t. But more importantly, I’m letting you know that those words are
not MY original idea either. On a side note, if you happen to know who did say
it first, you’re more than welcome to share that information with me.
I am starting this blog over. Looking at where I was two
years ago and then two years before that is too painful and I’m done looking
back. I lost weight, my Thyroid became an asshole, then I gained a lot of it
back and this fat suit is like an albatross. I looked in the mirror and my soul
screamed at me.
I AM NOT THAT PERSON BECAUSE THAT PERSON GAVE UP!
The quality of my life going forward absolutely depends on
how I treat my body. But the quality of my life also depends on how I treat my
soul.
I have some lofty goals in September. I’m going to set those
aside and focus on what I’m doing right now, not the least of which is telling
my fat suit to fuck off. But here I’m holding myself accountable for it. It has
to start somewhere.
- Today I’m going drink
water, and a lot of it.
My skin needs clearing up. And the medication I am on is
drying me out.
- Today I’m going to be conscious
of EVERYTHING I put in my mouth. (my friends with dirty minds can just
shut up now, LOL)
I do a lot of blind eating. When I pay attention, I eat
less.
- I’m going to allow myself
to enjoy what I eat and SLOW DOWN while I eat.
Letting go of the guilt that I associate with eating is
important when I eat to make myself feel better. It’s a vicious cycle. Food is
more pleasurable when I taste it and don’t rely on the endorphin rush I get by
shoveling it in.
I’m going to try to release myself of the shame I feel for
having gotten so far, only to end up where I’d started. But perhaps knowing
that I’m doing something about it will help me do that in time.
Thanks for listening.
Michele
